Killer Karts
by M Knightium
Summary: The 9th Annual Kart Racing Tournament was something everyone loved and prepared for accordingly. Mario however found two interesting racers for this year's races...a cyborg with a ponytail...and a cybernetic raptor...


The Mario Kart racing tournament had always done exceptionally well; racers would always have a blast despite going through dangerous, and even groundbreaking areas to claim first place and win the cup. Heroes like Mario, villains like Bowser, and others like the Koopas and even a few Dry Bones would enter.

However…to commemorate their 9th Annual racing tournament…they allowed people from _elsewhere_ to join their races.

* * *

"Everyone, I found-a new racer!" The red plumber himself announced, as they many of the titular racers stood around the Throneroom to Peach's Castle; the place the racers would always gather to decide on where they would race and who would complete each year. When they looked to Mario, many were ataken back, and in the case of Luigi, scared.

The new racer he brought seemed…odd.

He stood at a towering 6'5 in height; sleek metal covering his entire form. Broad shoulders gave way to some sort of muscle beneath the metal, and his eyes were narrowed into a blood red death flare. His forearms had two long blades there, dual plasma claws actually, with a series of wires ran from his head to his neck. An offsetting thing about the new racer was on the back of his head was some sort of…yellow ponytail, as said garment moved with the light breeze that the room had.

Overall, he seemed absolutely terrifying, and beyond out of place for the wacky world of the Mushroom Kingdom.

"…um…" Mario glanced around, seeing the confused and perplexed faces of his friends. "Whats'a wrong? He's just…big."

"Wa! What the heck is he?"

"I dunno, he said his name was…Fu…gloo? Fugloo? Am I sayin' that-a right?"

"Fulgore." The being finally spoke, voice a deep bass sounding one that made many cringe from the sudden speech.

"Right, anyhow, Fulgore here is Mario Kart's-a new racer! Isn't that great?"

"Yes but…what _is_ he?" Peach finally asked, growing gradually more concerned with the slight daftness Mario had to danger. "He doesn't seem exactly friendly."

"Of course he's-a friendly, Peach! See how fun he looks?"

"…there are blades on his arms. Those look hotter than the fires at my castle." Bowser finally said, rubbing his face in an irked manner. "Seriously, he looks like something I'd have at the castle…and you want him to race. I'm not against it, just sayin' he might be…dangrous."

"Don't worry, I can assure-a you; Mister Fulgore here is the least bit threatening-" Even as Mario said that a Toad wandered too close to the cyborg, and was blasted by a pair of red lasers in less than a second. Mario only glanced to the…well mess, and adjusted the collar of his shirt.

"Ehh…can…someone get a 1-Up?"

* * *

Mario Circuit, the easiest place for many to go and race. It was often the first stop for many of the racers to go on and the best way to make sure they still had the moves. The board read out the racers in the current course, for the growing crowd of Koopas, Toads, and various others to read.

 **Mario**

 **Luigi**

 **Bowser**

 **Peach**

 **Yoshi**

 **Donkey Kong**

 **Toad**

 **Fulgore**

Everyone was gathered at the starting line, carts and bikes revving up to make sure things worked; ready to go.

Even Fulgore; the cyborg worked to inspect his own bike; having opted for something easy to use for his weight class; Heavy.

Due to his weight he was set there, and was using the Wario Bike. The F was present where the typical W would be, and the entire bike was a color scheme of grey and yellow; contrary to Fulgore's overall look.

"Nice-a choice, Fulgore! You'll do good for your first-a race." Mario said, having stepped over to inspect the work of the metal being. His head slowly turned, and a stout nod left him; Fulgore seating himself on his bike before glancing back to Mario.

"My objective is to finish the race and come in first, correct?"

"Well yes-a, but remember; the goal is to really have some fun. So try your best out there, and don't let a random Blue Shell out of nowhere ruin it for a-you." With that the Plumber was gone, and the countdown started. The second the light turned green every cart and bike started going; Yoshi being the first to try and grab an item box.

A metal fist rocketed into the dinosaur's face without warning; several bloodied teeth flying out to hit the ground before he did. Yoshi's cart skidded out of control and hit the wall, exploding violently without warning. Fulgore zoomed past; grabbing the item box and crushing it in his hand; seeing the item was a Green Shell. His head shot up when he saw he was nearing Donkey Kong; the big ape dropping a Banana Peel right in front of him.

The cyborg lobbed the shell and sped up, getting right behind DK before his plasma blades lit up and extended; slashing left and blowing out one of DK's tires.

"GRAHOOAH!" Donkey Kong skidded out of control, and out of Fulgore's way. He sped up again and rounded a corner, death glare ever present. He was coming up on Toad now; the tiny mushroom headed man turning to give him a friendly wave.

A plasma shot later caused his car to violently explode, with him still inside; his head splattering against the ground moments later.

Fulgore grabbed another Item Box and crushed it; seeing he had a Mushroom now. His scans calculated several factors, and he smashed the shroom down to get a speed boost; closing in on the Chain Chomp area. He sped right over the ramp and flipped off his bike, letting the vehicle fly and smash into a wall.

Not out of accident however; he smashed down right next to Bowser and a well-timed backhand knocked him right off his own kart; the cyborg stepping in and flooring it. He was in fourth's place now, and he intended to get to first. Peach was ahead of him. His eye lasers heated up and fired without warning; her tires exploding and the woman skidding out of control before he shot his hand out; grabbing her and pulling her away from her kart as it skidded into a wall; violently exploding afterwards.

"Wha-" She didn't even finish; he dropped her off on the roadside and kept going; speeding up to catch up with Luigi. The green Plumber didn't even have time to see the fist coming; flying off his bike and rolling across the ground before Fulgore picked his up and lobbed it at the head honcho himself; Mario only turned just in time for his kart to get hit…and explode.

And like that Fulgore was in first; unopposed for the other two laps.

* * *

"…okay so when I said Fulgore was weird, I take it back; he's in." Bowser said, watching the cyborg run a check on his bike again after the race concluded. Many of the racers were sporting injuries and such; Yoshi's shattered jaw, DK's burn marks from having to dive out his kart, and…Toad was gone; they found his head but it took them a while to realize it wasn't a Mushroom.

…they needed to get a 1-Up for him.

"Ah…Fulgore…you kinda…broke a lotta rules-a to win-"

"I used the objective given as mission parameters; you said win the race. I won the race." The cyborg set his wrench down, standing. "Is there a problem with that?"

"N-No, just…maybe next time…can you try to win it nicely?"

"… _nicely_ doesn't register in my data banks." He spoke, turning to walk away, as many just watched in silence.

"...so…was bringing him in a good idea?" Luigi finally asked, Mario simply shrugging to respond to his brother's question.

"Of course…I mean it can't be worse than the other racer I found." Wario was the first to look and…wince, when he saw what looked like a cybernetic raptor currently enthralled in eating a Toad; the creature tearing into the short man with her plasma talons.

"...Mario you're banned from picking new racers."

"Mama-Mia..."

* * *

(This is more of a joke story that came to me when I watched some guys play Mario Kart: Double Dash while up at college. Being an avid Killer Instinct liker and a borderline mental ward patient I wondered what'd happen if I combined the two together…and this is just a taste of the sheer insanity that is to come.

So essentially it's Mario Kart but using not only Double Dash but also the Mario Kart 8 courses and people…and with the dynamic Duo of raptor and cyborg; Riptor and Fulgore. Honestly it'd be an interesting endeavor for me to write up since I know jack shit about the Mario world but fuck it; this is happening. I may include a few other things in here like minus8 things...maybe, but ultimately this story could be one of my most insane ones ever written. Please enjoy it and leave a like and a review. Hell if you want leave suggestions for the next course; might help me pin things down.)


End file.
